How do you handle change?
Specifically, how do you cope with things when you yourself begin to change, and you feel yourself pulling away from the things and people that you used to find comfort in?
How do you tell friends that view you one way that you aren't that way anymore?
How do you tell people that your beliefs have changed, or are changing, without making it sound like you are judging them for staying the same?
How do you let people go when they refuse to let you change, when they insist on you being the person you used to be?
How do you fill the spots in your life, the holes left by the people that you have to move on past?
These are the questions that we have been dealing with lately. The struggle to grow and evolve and become a better person while dealing with some people that scoff and scorn. The struggle to explain to your friends that yes, I used to feel like you do now, but my beliefs have changed, are changing.
And then when you get past that sometimes necessary culling of people that are in your life, what then? Now you have empty spots, relationships gone, situations where you need people to count on once more, and now those people are gone.
How do you handle change?
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It is so hard, isn't it? You just have to handle it all one day at a time, and one relationship at a time. Leave those who don't understand by the wayside, as painful as it may be, and alter the relationships with the ones who choose to move forward with you. It is a difficult, and sometimes painful process.
ReplyDeleteThings will get easier as time goes on, even though it doesn't seem like it right now. Hang in there and know you are in my thoughts.
*hugs*
P.S. Here is something that might make you smile, you found out my other blog and I don't know if you knew it or not. Not only that, but you found it within days of its inception. I thought it was funny.
My, how this hits home... as you said it would.
ReplyDeleteI am struggling right now, I won't even lie. People I thought I would always be close to have gradually drifted further and further away. I find that really what I must be lamenting is how things were... they have changed, and I have refused to go back down with them, or have refused to change into someone they think I should be.
This is where disagreements come in. I have always loved having friends from all walks of life, and have loved learning and celebrating in our differences. Sometimes, intolerance just takes over and all that is left is to simply let go.
I have learned a lot from all of these break-ups and make-ups and...
You know the rest.
I want to continue to learn. About myself, about my friends and about others. Those that truly love you for who you are and not what they want you to be will stick around. The rest fall by the wayside.
I can very, VERY closely relate to this line of thinking. This year has been very complex for me concerning relationships- and especially friendships. Some that I thought were rooted in the most sturdy of foundations have proved to be quite the opposite.
ReplyDeleteHowever, what I can tell you is that when things and people and loyalties change, what is left will be even more endeared to you than before. While my heart has hurt over some hurtful things that have been said about me, words of love and comfort have come from those that truly love me. For everything negative, I have been blessed with something positive in double portions. When one relationship left, another existing relationship became even stronger than the first one ever had. When I felt insulted and humiliated, I found that all of a sudden I was blessed with new career opportunities from people who believed in me. The days that I felt my heart was the heaviest, one of my family members or good friends would call and build me back up even more than I was before.
This confirms to me many things, but most importantly that His plan for me is indeed what guides my life's path. It won't be without bends, turns and surprise loops... but His changes for my life are simply opportunities He gives me to prove my personal growth and commitment to His will.